Lately, you feel that divorce represents the only viable option for your rocky marriage. You may choose the traditional route, or you could try mediation. How do you know which option makes sense?
Lifehacker explores signs that your divorce may not fit mediation. Determine whether a standard split may save you time and money.
You cannot stand up for yourself
If your soon-to-be-ex-spouse talks over you and the divorce mediator, you must advocate for yourself. Mediators receive negotiation training, so one may not prove useful in getting your spouse to stop speaking over you. An attorney may serve you and your interests better.
You (or your spouse) cannot accept the other person’s perspective
If you or your spouse have an immutable version of how your marriage crumbled, mediation may turn into a waste of time. Both parties must approach mediation with a spirit of compromise and goodwill. If you see your spouse as an utter monster, or vice versa, it may become impossible to set your narrative or hard feelings aside to make mediation sessions work.
You want your spouse to hurt
You must step into mediation with well wishes for your current partner. The alternative dispute resolution method works best when spouses want the most favorable outcome for each other. Even if you do not agree with everything that your spouse says or feels, you must find it within yourself to at least listen and find a middle ground.
You experienced violence
Maybe physical or emotional abuse crept into your relationship. Violent partners rarely have much empathy, which is a cornerstone of mediation.
Do not despair if mediation does not fit your situation. You have other options for finding joy and peace.