Communicating with an ex probably isn’t something that you’re looking forward to, but if you share children with your ex, communication is a priority. Finding ways to keep these conversations productive and calm can be challenging.
When you’re speaking to your ex, keep the focus on the children. Allowing the conversation to veer into the issues that caused the split or anything other than the children will likely lead to heated and unproductive conversations.
Set clear boundaries
Communication with your ex will require that boundaries be set. This should include the primary method of communication, which might be phone calls, text messages, emails, messages through a parenting app or any other option that’s mutually agreeable.
Boundaries about the times for non-emergency communication should also be set. The expectation for how long response times should be is another decision you and your ex have to make. As you do this, remember that those boundaries don’t apply when the communication is an emergency.
Plan for compromise and disagreements
The parenting relationship will be easier for everyone if you and your ex can compromise with each other. These decisions must be based on what’s best for the children, but that doesn’t mean that there won’t be disagreements.
When a disagreement occurs, you and your ex should try to remain calm and talk through the issue. If that’s not immediately possible, it may be necessary to take a break to calm down and consider the options before readdressing the matter.
Ultimately, communication sets the stage for the entire parenting relationship. When parents can communicate with each other, the children will reap the benefits. Having all the plans for co-parenting, including communication, put into the parenting plan helps to ensure both parents are aware of how things should work.
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