The difficulties you have been having in your marriage may be causing you to consider things you never dreamed you would. Maybe you are in marriage counseling, have already tried a separation or are thinking of leaving for good.
These thoughts, your emotions and the problems you and your spouse are having may have seemed minor in the beginning. In fact, the issues that are tearing your marriage apart may be similar to problems you have seen other couples go through. Nevertheless, those couples came out stronger, and your marriage seems to be ending. What is the difference?
Is your marriage on the rocks?
Professionals who work with partners recognize that every couple deals with many of the same stressors, yet not every marriage breaks up as a result. For example, there are few spouses who have not faced a tragedy, whether it is a devastating illness, a job loss, the death of a child or other disastrous event that disrupted life as they knew it. Most couples struggle through these times, and some marriages survive while others do not. Some common difficulties that test a marriage include the following:
- Financial stress, whether it is poverty, one spouse out-earning the other or an inability for you and your spouse to agree about how to manage your money
- Addictions, including alcohol, drugs, gambling or pornography
- Incompatibility on issues that grow more important as the years pass, such as having children, practicing a certain religion or where to live
- An increasing lack of respect for each other's differences
Even infidelity can be a turning point for one marriage and a breaking point for another. Infidelity does not have to be a physical liaison. In fact, these days, social media makes it possible to have an emotional affair without ever meeting in person, but this may not make it feel like less of a betrayal to you.
What does tomorrow look like for you?
Psychologists believe the difference may be in the couple's reaction to the event, rather than the event itself. For example, you may ask yourself if you and your spouse are more likely to lean on each other or to blame each other when times get rough.
If you are looking back and seeing a pattern of deterioration in your marriage, you may believe the only hope for a positive future is to seek a divorce and begin a new life. Undoubtedly, you have many questions about whether this is the right choice and what the process involves. Seeking answers from a Texas family law professional may give you the peace of mind you need to make a wise decision about your future.